Frustration...

Ok, I thought I knew what I wanted to write about for my EAC paper, but it turns out I have no idea. This is the first time that I have ever been stumped for words. I kept thinking I had to write about something like I was explaining how to do something. Like how to drive a car, or how to cook a meal. But I have learned this week that love is a concept, so is being happy all of the time (hyperthymia). Oh, cannibalism...another concept. So this may make it a little easier. Maybe something will come to me tonight while I sleep. I sure hope so, because I am going to the library tomorrow to research whatever it is.

happy halloween

Halloween Fun

Thank God

Thank God this essay is done. Everytime I read or rewrite it, I am reliving the whole experience all over again. I can't take it.
Now I am preparing to speak to the class tomorrow. this is about something that I know very well. Nervous? Heck yeah! But nothing a couple deep breaths won't cure.
Home life this week has been somewhat hectic. Gianna and Eddie Boy have had colds. Not fun at all. I finally cut the cord and found a pediatrician here in Moreno Valley. It has taken me three years to do this. I guess I was still in denial. I did not think we would be out here that long. I am accepting the fact that we will be here for a long while. I am ok with it now. I have made some friends in the Moms group that I organize. I am very involved in my kids school activities, and I am enjoying school. So I think I am adjusting well, EXCEPT for this darn weather. I hate the heat. Anyway, I need to finish my presentation. Good night for now.

TGIF...

Thank God it is Friday!!! So I watched ER last night. For those of you who watched, you will know what I am talking about. I sat here and just bawled through the entire episode. Talk about a show hitting close to home. Watching your brother die...that has to be the worst thing in the whole world. Two years later and it still feels like it was yesterday. I don't understand why. Why did Eddie have to leave? Will I ever be ok with it? Will it ever get better? Everytime I look at my baby, I think to myself...Eddie Boy will never meet his Tio. How bad does that suck? He will never hear his Tio laugh or see him smile, or even have the chance to play with him. my baby is named after my brother, and the funny thing is, I cannot call him "Eddie", because my eyes tear up. I have to call him "Eddie Boy".

On another note, I look so forward to Fridays. That means that Saturday is coming up and I get a couple hours to myself. No kids. Not that I don't love my kids, I do. they meant the world to me. I don't work, so I am home all day, everyday with them. My choice, I know. Sometimes moms need a break.

Today at my kids school was Constitution Day. Before school started all of the kids gathered around the flag pole for a ceremony which was dedicated to the United States. Songs were sung about the Declaration of Independence, some of the kids learned the pledge of allegiance in sign language, and some speeches were given. The Junior ROTC was there from Rancho Verde High School and some current and retired service men. At the end of the ceremony the ROTC released red, white, and blue balloons into the sky. The kids were told to send good thoughts to those over seas, and the balloons were symbols of their thoughts. The song "Proud to be an American" was playing as the ballons soared into the sky. There was a little talk of 9/11 because one of the teachers who served in Vietnam, was living in New York at the time of the attack. Plus, the Admin Asst's husband was working in the Pentagon when it was attacked. It is strange how 7 years has passed, and just the thought of that awful day still brings tears to my eyes. Trying to explain to my 8 year old why I was crying is not so easy. I can remember every detail about that day as if it were yesterday, yet I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning. All in all it was a beautiful ceremony. If I see a soldier walking by me, I sure as heck make an effort to thank him for his time and service. My husband was a Marine, and I thank God that his time in the service was done before our soldiers were deployed.